Cracked Concrete
by doctron
Summary: “I just, I want to be alone for awhile.” And she sighed, and that’s all she said, all she meant before my lips crashed into hers to make her take back those words. Spashley, AU
1. Chapter 1

Summary: "I just, I want to be alone for awhile." And she sighed, and that's all she said, all she meant before my lips crashed into hers to make her take back those words. Spashley, AU

Author's Note: I don't know if I'll continue this story, don't know if it's been done haha but one of my first really, so I hope everyone enjoys it, feedback appreciated :)

**Spencer's POV**

It was an ordinary day at King High, same people, same classes, everything was the same. But not; I haven't seen Ashley for days and that doesn't include seeing her drive past me in her Mercedes. Atleast I know she's alive, well, that's what I keep telling myself. Ever since that day she's been avoiding me like the plague, and she does have good reason for it.

"Hey baby" And he kisses me on the cheek. I smile involuntarily. At least I'm not alone these days.

"Hey, what's up?" It's easier to sound happy when he's around.

"Nothing, just missing you like crazy." And I giggle, and he kisses me again.

"It's only been an hour hun." But I blush anyway.

"Well, an hour is too long to be away from you."

"You're so sweet." Isn't he? Because that line sounds awfully familiar, it sounds like something Ashley used to say to me, and all we were – correction. All we ARE is friends. Although it doesn't seem like much these days.

And we continue to talk during our lunch break. What we did today, what we are going to do today, with the odd sweet thing that makes me blush. It's perfect. So why can't Ashley understand that? Why can't she be happy for me instead of being so selfish? Or maybe I'm the selfish one.

I see Ashley across the courtyard and my heart stops. She seems to see me too because she immediately turns around and walks the other direction. I tell Aiden that I have to go and I quickly give him a kiss before I start chasing after her.

"Ashley!" She walks faster.

"Wait!" She doesn't.

And it's a good thing that I'm a fast runner because I catch up to her, grabbing her arm maybe a little too forcefully.

"What do you want?" She spits out at me.

"I just want to know why you're acting this way..." Stupid question.

"You know why." And she looks pissed. More pissed off and maybe my hand that's holding onto her arm is shaking but I can't be too sure.

"Why can't you just be happy for me? I thought you were okay with this.."

"Maybe it's not the simple Spencer. It's never been simple with you." Her voice is cold and placid, no longer raised. And somehow my hand isn't on her anymore, and she's walking away. And it doesn't take long for me to realize she's gone, but it takes a longer time for me to start to wonder why I didn't chase after her.

**Ashley's POV**

Spencer and I have always been best friends. There's no line between when we weren't and when we were. It all kind of blended, like novel, or a movie; and there was no time before Spencer and Ashley.

She'd always stick with me, no matter how bitchy I was or how immature or anything. Whatever I did wrong she was always on my side. That's why I wasn't scared when I came out to her; I knew she'd always be there for me. And she just smiled and said, "I still love you."

And even if I wasn't nervous I was still relieved. Because losing Spencer would be like losing my life. And I sure as hell wasn't emo or suicidal. Maybe, that was only reserved for her.

I remember when we were little and we talked about getting married. And mind you, this was after we watched Cinderella and maybe I was a softie back then but hey, I was less than ten.

"Who do you wanna marry when you grow up Ash?"

"I don't want to get married." Spencer looked a little sad when I said this, I remember.

"Well why not!"

"Because boys are icky!" And they were, playing in mud and dirt. I had good reasoning.

"Well why don't you marry me? I'm a girl." I pondered about it, and even if she was only seven she made a lot of sense.

"Sure," I said. "I'll marry you Spence." And maybe if that didn't happen I wouldn't have thought about it. About how her eyes are so pretty, and her hands were so soft, and they were just idle thoughts. Until I got older and started to wonder why my heart beat so fast sometimes and I realized it was only around her. Maybe if her seven year old form didn't ask me so innocently to marry her, maybe I wouldn't have fallen for her.

But then, I realize that that would be impossible. That there was no way I couldn't have loved her. And I just didn't know until I knew, you know? And when that happened everything changed.

Everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **I ilke to switch from present tense to past tense, it might get confusing and I apologize it's just how I write. A little short but at least I continued it:) and thanks for the reviews3

**Ashley's POV**

"Hey Ash?"

"Yeah Spence?"

"Do you ever wonder why the stars are so bright?"

"Not really." But I do wonder why your eyes are so blue.

"I do, I think maybe the stars were made to be so bright so it can make even the darkness be lit up."

I chuckle softly, she's so cute.

"Maybe Spence, I guess we'll never know will we?"

Her forehead crinkles as she considers this for moment,

"I guess not."

And I smile, for no reason. And it's just because I'm with her, having senseless talks and I feel so happy yet so empty because I can't hold her like I want to. Or kiss her like I've dreamt of. But this is enough, it will always be enough for me.

"Hey Ashley..?" She sounds hesitant, and I look at her this time because I know it's important.

"Yes Spencer."

She doesn't look at me when she says some words that make me think that my heart is being ripped out and stomped on and spit on. And I realized now that it couldn't have been ripped out, not from my chest, she already has it. She stole it, and didn't even bother to ask me for it.

"Aiden asked me out," She likes this boy, I also dated this boy. But I hold my breath anyways, because I'm scared if I breathe it'll hurt even more. "And I said yes."

And that's it. I don't know what to say, or do, but she looks at me finally. With those brighter-than-the-stars eyes, and she's asking for forgiveness. And who I am to deny her that?

But I can't help to be hurt. Really hurt. Really really hurt.

So I take her hand and I force a smile, hoping my eyes aren't leaking because there's a lot of dust in the air and she might take it the wrong way.

"I'm happy for you." Lie.

"Really?" She's scared, like my opinion really matters.

"Yes." You're such a liar Ashley Davies.

"So, you're not mad..?"

"Of course not." And I smile to top it off, Oscar much?

She smiles back at me, looking relieved. And I say I have to go home, I have schoolwork (because that's believable but she doesn't question it) I drop her home. Hug her goodbye and I speed off.

I don't know when the streetlights and stoplights and go lights all blurred into lines and streaks and I felt like I should've smoked something, or else this wouldn't be happening. Or maybe this pain wouldn't hurt, and my face wouldn't be wet.

I don't show up for a couple days at school and I avoid her. I can't see her with him, it hurts too much. I drove past her walking yesterday, I wanted to stop and pick her up because it looked like it might rain. But this was L.A. and it was always sunny they say. So I used that excuse and the fact that I HAD to go pick Kyla up as an excuse. I couldn't be late, nope. Or else she'd be really angry, and I'd have to deal with it. So I kept driving and told myself not to look back.

When the school caught on that I wasn't coming to class my mother threw a fit. Told me I had better or she'd take away my privileges. So, defiantly but eventually I went to school. And I regretted it the moment I saw Spencer and Aiden making googly eyes at each other.

She chased after me. It made me feel, happy. But I was mad at her, and I knew I shouldn't let me feel good because she's with him but I thought about it later and smiled a little bit.

I yelled at her, and she yelled at me back.

It was the first fight me and her ever had, if you don't mention that time we went camping and I told ghost stories when she really didn't want me to. I made it better by holding her while she slept, and everything was good. Everything was great back then, I always think about that night.

She likes to taunt me, with the fact that I can't have her.

But, in all honesty I don't mind. Didn't mind.

Until someone else had her, because it felt like all she needed was me, and I don't understand why she needs someone else – especially someone who can't appreciate her, like I could.

I see them together and it makes me gag. And that's what I did when I ran away from Spencer, I went to the bathroom and puked.

"Pregnant again Davies?" Madison. Bitch.

"Yeah, you're boyfriend and me had quite some fun though."

"Slut."

"Bitch."

"Dyke."

"Whore."

And in all honesty this makes me feel better, lashing out on someone, even though this routine goes on daily.

"It must suck that your little girlfriend came to her senses and started dating a boy – not to mention way better looking than your ugly face."

And that's it. She's never pissed me off so badly, not even the time she told the teacher I cheated on the one test I studied hard for (because of Spencer). And I got a zero, and ever since then I don't try anymore.

So I tackle her, because if I slap her it wouldn't be enough. I'm so angry.

And pain is everywhere but anger is overwhelming it.

Somehow more hands than I thought Madison had (who knows, she could be from outer space) were on me. Pulling me off of her, and I'm already blacked out I want to hurt whoever is stopping me from this insane damage I'm causing Madison and her manicure.

But I whip around and I see that blondeness that seems a lot like Spencer's soft hair, and eyes that are so blue and deep I want to get drown in them like a lake.

"What the hell are you doing Ashley?!" Better question, what the hell are you doing stopping me from giving this bitch a lesson.

"Why does it matter to you?" I'm just being a bitch. But I want to know, do you love me? Because all you do is hurt me.

"Because I care about you!" Good way of showing it.

"Whatever Spence." I fix my shirt, and I walk out.

"Okay, just run away Ashley." And fuck she knows how to aggravate me in just the right way. But I'll admit I'm a coward when it comes to Spencer. I also have pride. So I keep walking.


End file.
